Author’s Note
This story was originally written in Nigerian Pidgin English. Read the original Pidgin version here → I Got Arrested Over My Girlfriend
This piece blends humor, culture, and caution. While it is fictional, it highlights real-life lessons about decision-making, literacy, and the consequences of greed. The use of Pidgin English with translations is intentional, to showcase Nigerian expression while making it accessible to a wider audience.
Intro
What would you do if smoke rose from your floor, a hole appeared out of nowhere, and inside it was a bag of money with a note that said it came from Hell?
This is a Nigerian dark comedy horror story written in Pidgin English with English translations — following Godwin, a lovesick young man whose quiet evening is destroyed first by two of the most incompetent police officers ever put in uniform, and then by something far worse than handcuffs.
The Devil is running a draw, the rain is the countdown, and nobody in that room knows how to read.
This is Part One of the series.
A Song of Love and Distraction
If you see Caro,
If you see Caro,
If you see Caro,
Tell her say, I dey look for her (Tell her that I am looking for her)
Caro write a letter
Caro put her picture
Caro picture do whatever Caro do for me (Caro's picture does whatever Caro does for me)
Caro picture kiss me
Caro picture knack me (Caro's picture makes love to me)
Caro picture do whatever Caro do for me
The Song and the Memory
That was the rough song Godwin was singing (that na the rough song Godwin dey sing oh), thinking about his girl Caro and all the intimate things they had done together.
He lay on his bed holding Caro's picture, smiling as he remembered what they both did last night.
"If her father wouldn't get angry like a mosquito that has never sucked blood (if to say her papa no go vex like mosquito wey never suck blood), I would never let Caro go," he grinned.
Caro was really something else (Caro na real something oh).
That was when a knock at his door interrupted his thoughts (na so knock come him door come interrupt him thinking).
An Unexpected Arrest
"Who is that!" he exclaimed. "Please, just leave me alone (abeg oh, make una leave me oh)."
"Open the door, we are sharing money (open the door jor, we dey share money)," the voice replied.
Money! Godwin smiled. "Only money could make me get up (na only money go fit make me stand oh)."
He opened the door — and came face to face with a gun pointed at his head.
Officer Shaky Nerves
Godwin froze. He knew he was in serious trouble (him know say him done enter kasala).
"You are under arrest," the man said. "I am Officer Shaky Nerves."
Godwin noticed the officer's hand was shaking.
"Officer, please… remove that thing from my head before you accidentally fire it (abeg no vex oh, but commot that thing for my head before you blow ham oh)."
The exchange that followed revealed something deeper than comedy — poor training, lack of discipline, and fear within authority figures.
Educational Insight:
This scene highlights the importance of proper training and emotional control in law enforcement. Authority without discipline can create danger rather than safety.
Confusion and Misplaced Authority
The arrival of Officer Half Past Four only added to the chaos. Neither officer clearly explained the reason for the arrest, and both showed signs of poor judgment.
Godwin, despite being afraid, questioned them logically.
Educational Insight:
Citizens should understand their rights, and authorities must communicate clearly. Misuse of power often stems from ignorance on both sides — lack of awareness and lack of accountability.
Caro’s Father and Social Pressure
Eventually, the truth slipped out — Caro’s father had ordered the arrest, accusing Godwin of corrupting his daughter.
Educational Insight:
This reflects a common societal issue: misuse of influence and power. Personal relationships should not be handled through intimidation or abuse of authority.
The Supernatural Begins
Suddenly, the weather changed. Cold wind, darkness, and rain filled the atmosphere.
Then came the smoke.
Red. Blue. White.
A hole appeared in the middle of the room.
Inside it — a bag and a note.
Fear replaced every trace of authority in the room.
The Problem of Illiteracy
Godwin picked up the note.
"I cannot read (I no sabi read)."
The officers exchanged looks.
Neither of them could read either.
They were forced to call a neighbor.
Illiteracy is one of the challenges facing the Nigerian Police Force. This story is based on personal experience and reflects the way some officers may respond in certain situations. It highlights the fact that misunderstandings and poor communication can sometimes lead to wrongful actions.
The issue of illiteracy can be a serious concern because it may affect decision-making and efficiency within any institution. In some cases, there are concerns about recruitment practices not always placing enough emphasis on merit and formal education. Proper screening, background checks, and accurate record-keeping are important for any professional organization.
The police force could become even more effective if continuous training and re-education programs are consistently implemented for officers.
Educational Insight:
This is one of the strongest messages in the story — literacy is power.
The inability to read left all three men vulnerable, confused, and dependent on others.
The Note from Hell
The neighbor read:
Dear Lucky Winner,
You have been lucky to be part of the draw made in Hell. When the smoke pops up, two things will be seen — a bag and a note. We in Hell test the greedy ones and the ones with a level head. If you go for the note first, then congratulations — you have won. Hopefully you can spend everything in the bag before the rain stops, or your soul will be taken. If you are not alone, other bags will appear according to your numbers. Good luck. And if not — Hell awaits your souls.
Sincerely,
Hell Administrator, for the Devil.
A test of greed.
A race against time.
Spend the money before the rain stops — or lose your soul.
Greed and Consequences
Four bags appeared.
Each filled with money.
Instead of joy, fear took over.
They realized something important — having wealth is not the same as being able to use it wisely.
Godwin tried to share the money, going door to door.
But the money burned anyone who touched it.
A Lesson on Greed and Wisdom
They returned and waited, defeated.
Greed is one of the worst things that can affect any institution, including the Nigerian Police Force.
A police officer may wrongly label an innocent person as a criminal due to a bribe they may have received from someone.
Greed and envy often go hand in hand, and in some cases, these negative traits can influence poor decision-making within systems and institutions.
Never allow your heart to be filled with envy, as it will never end well.
Educational Insight:
This moment reinforces a key lesson:
Wealth without wisdom is dangerous.
Greed blinds people to consequences, and shortcuts often come with hidden costs.
Outro
This story tells you to be careful — life is unpredictable and anything can happen.
You just have to be good and not careless.
And if the Devil knocks on your door, slam it in his face.
Never give up in the face of a challenge.
Added Moral & Educational Takeaway
Literacy is essential for independence and survival
Greed can lead to irreversible consequences
Authority must be exercised responsibly
Not every opportunity is a blessing — some are traps
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| Douye Soroh |
The Force of Consequence
Subject: Arrests, Systemic Grit, & The Final Hour
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