The Month That Nearly Broke Him

 

**A Bad Start to the New Year**

It was one of those days in March when people are still figuring out how the new year would favour them — that time of confusion when life hasn't yet shown you which direction it wants to lead you. That particular morning, Prince wasn't having a good day. It had been rough for him since the previous month. He didn't want to think about February. It was the month he had spent his last cash trying to find a solution for his girlfriend's missed period. She had come to him that day, and he couldn't forget her words:

"Babe, I never see my period oh." [Babe, I haven't seen my period.]

He had frozen. He had no idea when he started sweating. He swallowed hard and was already crying inside, knowing his life's challenges had doubled. He was still frozen when he felt her nudge him roughly on his shoulder. He turned to look at her and stammered:

"Wetin you mean na?" [What do you mean by that?]

"I never see my period, abi you deaf?" [I haven't seen my period — are you deaf?] His girlfriend Mira asked him angrily.

"How you take missed the period na, make I bring torch so we fit go find am?" [How did you miss your period? Should I bring a flashlight so we can go look for it?] he asked her.

"Abeg be serious na, I fit done get belle," [Please be serious — I might already be pregnant,] Mira said.

"Abeg oh, I never ready to born oh," [Please, I'm not ready to have a baby,] Prince replied.

"Then why you no use protection?" [Then why didn't you use protection?] Mira asked angrily.

"No be you say you no like am, if I use protection, no be you say e no dey sweet eh?" [Wasn't it you who said you didn't like it? If I used protection, wasn't it you who said it didn't feel good?] He pressed on, not wanting to accept the inevitable news. He didn't want anything that would pressure him or make his blood pressure rise. This news was not what he was expecting in a brand new February — no way, the year had just started.

"That no be excuse, I never see my period." [That's not an excuse. I still haven't seen my period.]

"Then go find am na, no be me hold am," [Then go look for it — I'm not the one holding it back,] he said, angry now too.

**Ten Thousand Dollars Worth of Panic**

"What if na belle I get?" [What if I'm pregnant?] Mira asked him. Fearing the worst, she knew he was not capable of taking care of a baby at that time. Things were rough for him, and she feared for his life — the doctor had advised him to stop stressing himself and relax more, or he would develop blood pressure like a bomb ready to go off. She watched as his shoulders stiffened when she mentioned pregnancy. She knew that would be a very big problem.

"See, no call belle where I dey oh, na jazz am abeg," [Look, don't bring up pregnancy around me — it must be some kind of bad juju, please,] he replied.

"You no want to be papa?" [You don't want to be a father?] she asked him.

"So the pikin go dey cry everyday say, 'Papa, give me food oh' — abeg I no strong for that oh." [So the child would be crying every day saying, 'Daddy, give me food' — please, I can't handle that right now.]

"So wetin we go do?" [So what are we going to do?] she asked him.

"You mean wetin you go do eh?" [You mean what are *you* going to do?] Prince asked her.

"Na me and you oh, no be only me," [It's both of us, not just me,] Mira said, getting upset now.

"Go commot am abeg," [Just get rid of it, please,] he replied.

"How na?" [But how?] she asked him.

He then called one of his female friends who was experienced in that matter. He asked her what he should give his girlfriend to remove the wahala [trouble] in her belly.

"Congratulations," his friend said as he explained his problem.

"Stop na, abeg give me update — wetin she go take na." [Cut it out, please — just tell me what she should take.]

"Okay, but it is expensive oh," his friend Mary said.

"Na how much?" [How much is it?] he asked her, holding his breath as she consulted whoever she had to before giving him the answer. It came a moment later.

"Na ten thousand dollar oh," [It's ten thousand dollars,] his friend Mary replied.

"Abeg oh, that thing too cost oh, na the only money I done save oh," [Please, that's way too expensive — that's all the money I've saved,] he exclaimed in a pained voice. Mira could see him trying to hold back his tears.

"Wetin she talk na?" [What did she say?] she asked him.

"She say na ten thousand dollar for the drug." [She said the drug costs ten thousand dollars.]

"Na wa oh, e cost oh," [Wow, that's expensive,] Mira said, shaking her head.

"E cost na — I never chop sef, now I go blow 10k dollar," [It is expensive — I haven't even eaten, and now I'm about to blow ten thousand dollars,] he said, looking at her sideways.

"Abeg no look me like that oh, no blame me jor." [Please don't look at me like that — don't put the blame on me.]

"I go blame you oh, na your fault," [I will blame you — it's your fault,] he said.

"How e be my fault na?" [How is it my fault?] she argued.

"Na you dey hold my waist dey shout 'harder' na, na you go dey do me wetin no good na." [You were the one holding my waist shouting 'harder' — you were the one doing things that weren't good for us.]

"Before, you supposed do am well na," [You should have handled things properly from the start,] Mira said.

"See now e done lead to 10k dollar — I no get money oh." [Look at what it's led to — ten thousand dollars I don't have.]

**A Prayer and a Negative Result**

That had been his worry throughout February. He had thought the world would end when his girlfriend brought him that news of the missed period. He had hurriedly bought the drug at the cost of ten thousand dollars, but before he gave it to her, he had gone for a test at a laboratory. When her blood sample was taken, he had been praying hard. He could still remember his prayer:

*Dear Baba God [Father God], I no say I done do bad thing oh [I know I've done a bad thing]. You say make we no fornicate [You said we shouldn't fornicate], but I been dey disobey you sha [but I've been disobeying You]. No be my fault oh [It's not entirely my fault] — Baba, konji [lust] want to kpai me [kill me] before my time. Abeg no vex sha [Please don't be angry], forgive me, and I no go do am again oh [I won't do it again] — make the result come out negative, and I go stop to cause you wahala [I'll stop giving You trouble]. Amen.*

He held his breath when the technician came out with a heavy sigh. He shouted inside his mind: "E done happened oh." [It's happened.] But when the technician handed over the result and he scanned to the bottom and saw the word *negative*, he danced right there, laughing, and finally felt like he could breathe again.

He walked along the road now, thinking about what February had put him through. He shook his head as he walked, still wondering how he would dispose of the ten-thousand-dollar drug that now sat in his house reminding him of the mistake he had made. As he neared his friend's house, he muttered, "Prevention is better than cure."

**A Friend in a Worse State**

When he reached Tam's house, he knocked hard and heard a croaky, cracked voice say, "Please come in." He entered and was blinded for a moment as his eyes tried to adjust to the darkened room. He saw his friend lying on a thin mattress, and when he peered closer, he exclaimed, "Oboy, you dey die oh." [Man, you look like you're dying.]

He hurried to open the window, and when the light reached his friend, he cringed. Tam used to be fat — very fat — and people liked to tease him as a walking pig. When he laughed, you could see his cheeks wobble. But looking at him now, Prince wondered if this was really the Tam he knew. Lying there was an emaciated person — all bones and hollow cheeks, sunken eyes, and dry cracked lips. He bent over him to hear him speak.

"Guy, e done tay oh," [Man, it's been a long time,] Tam's cracked lips said.

"E done tay sha," [It has been a while,] Prince replied. "Wetin do you na?" [What happened to you?]

"Na long story oh," [It's a long story,] Tam said, wincing as his stomach growled.

"Shorten the story jor," [Cut it short, please,] Prince said.

"Na one babalawo oh [It was a traditional medicine man]. I go meet am say make him make me rich." [I went to see him so he could make me wealthy.]

"You be mumu oh, you go to do money ritual eh?" [You're a fool — you went to do a money ritual?] Prince rebuked him.

"Things too rough na, I dey die for hungry hand." [Things are too hard. I'm dying of hunger.]

"What of me wey dey hungry too — you be really mumu. Abeg, wetin happen?" [What about me, who's also hungry? You're truly a fool. Please, what happened?] Prince asked him.

"The babalawo say make I no chop for two weeks, say I go make am on the third week." [The medicine man told me not to eat for two weeks, saying I'd have my wealth by the third week.]

"See as you dey, you go kpai on the third week sef." [Look at the state you're in — you would have died by the third week.]

"Oboy, I no fit stand to find food — I for don chop since," [Man, I can't even stand up to find food. I should have eaten long ago,] Tam said.

**Bread, Coca-Cola, and a Slow Recovery**

"Make I go buy you bread and Coca-Cola, I dey come," [Let me go buy you bread and Coca-Cola — I'll be right back,] Prince said, heading out to get his friend some food. After a few minutes he came back with shortbread and a diet Coca-Cola. He uncapped the bottle and slowly poured a little into his friend's mouth. Tam drank greedily and had a coughing fit, forcing Prince to stop.

"Oboy na small small na, no rush am." [Easy now, take it little by little — don't rush it.]

Tam could only nod his head and point to the bread. Prince cut a few slices and fed them to him. Tam chewed slowly, then had a few more sips of the drink, and little by little, he ate everything.

After about two hours, he was able to sit up on his own, and his voice came out stronger than the previous whisper.

"Oboy, thank you oh," [Man, thank you so much,] he said, grateful to his friend.

"Next time no reason babalawo oh, them be fraud oh." [Next time, don't bother with those medicine men — they're frauds.]

"Na true sha, I promise to be good from today." [That's true. I promise to do better from today.]

"No wahala, just no reason that level of wealth jor." [No problem — just don't chase that kind of get-rich-quick wealth.]

"How I go do na, I dey broke." [But what am I supposed to do? I'm broke.]

"Na small small oh, no rush." [Take it one step at a time — don't rush.]

**Two Friends, Two Hard Lessons**

"I go try sha. How your babe na?" [I'll try. How's your girlfriend?] Tam asked him.

"Oboy, Mira dey craze oh, she nearly give me blood pressure." [Man, Mira is something else — she nearly gave me high blood pressure.]

"Wetin she do na?" [What did she do?]

"She been think say she get belle oh." [She thought she was pregnant.]

"Oboy, that no be your portion oh," [Man, that's not a fate you deserve,] Tam replied.

"You done see am na, she want to kpai me before my time." [You see? She wants to kill me before my time.]

"So wetin happen na?" [So what happened?]

"I hurry go buy one drug them sell ten thousand dollar oh." [I rushed to buy a drug they sold for ten thousand dollars.]

"Wait oh — you mean ten thousand dollar?" [Hold on — ten thousand dollars?]

"Yes oh."

"Jesus, e cost oh." [Jesus, that's expensive.]

"E cost na — as I used my last cash, na pain me pass sef." [It is expensive — using my last money on it hurt more than anything.]

"You done commot am?" [Did she use it?] Tam asked him.

"Turn out na false alarm oh." [Turned out it was a false alarm.]

"So you just blow your ten thousand dollar?" [So you wasted ten thousand dollars just like that?]

"Na dey pain me, and now I broke with nothing." [That's what's hurting me — now I'm broke with nothing to show for it.]

"Your own bad oh, sha." [That's rough, man.]

The two friends were silent, each thinking about what they had gone through. It hit Prince in that moment that he was too poor to even think about having a baby, and he wondered if he ever really would — the way things were going, his life had been a challenge from the start, and now he was getting older, still hadn't made it, still hadn't found that balance or stability.

Tam was angry that he had nearly become the victim of a fraudster who had almost ended his life with false promises. If not for his friend, he would have been dead. He thought about the numerous young men who weren't as lucky — who had trusted blindly and paid with their lives. Now he knew: if you want to make it in life, it takes hard work and working smart. There is no shortcut to wealth. He prayed that others might see the real truth and not be blinded by poverty.

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